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The Tipping Point to Friendship

Posted by in Society: Relationships  ~  June 16, 2012 10:17:58 PM

When strangers meet, friendship doesn’t automatically follow. To build a relationship takes more than an introduction or several encounters. An acquaintance can stay that way for years, no matter how often they interact. But it can tip over to friendship eventually if given a chance.

The tipping point to friendship is not usually immediate and is brought about by several things. It is comparative to an empty glass that is filled up drop by drop.

First drop is in sharing common things. The common thread is what opens the door to forming a relationship that would go beyond knowing each others names. Another drop falls when more things are experienced together, increasing the chances of knowing each other better and finding out a side of the person’s life. Yet another drop falls with inquisitions or in situations where a person reveals some of his personality. Interfaces are no longer limited to courteous and guarded conversations as each learn to loosen up with each other. Another drop is added in the glass with shared emotions. Moments that bring about laughter contribute a lot as it indicates more things in common: the wavelength and humor. It also increases the potential value of the relationship as it gives a promise of good times. Exposure to reactions in mutual situations like anger, sadness, or disappointment add to the pot as well since these provide more opportunities to bond and impart ones thoughts and points of views. This allows each other to witness their thinking process, helping them to understand each other better. Occasions of tears or sadness, for whatever reason, shared or not, also contribute to building friendship. When one cries, it’s a display of weakness and vulnerability. The manner of which the other party handles the situation during this down period can solidify the trustworthiness and reliability of the relationship. If one takes advantage of the other person’s condition to gain vantage points for vested interests, then one breaks the glass that holds everything together. The same way, if during the vulnerable status of the person the other one fails to show assistance, then it shows the limit of the friendship. But if one sincerely accommodates the circumstances and gives assistance, then the relationship tips over to true friendship: one that is built for joy and sorrow alike, and is two-way.

To form a bond with others, it is not enough to smile and shake hands several times. Opening up and giving time and effort is also required. It is also a mutual task where both contribute to the pot. With only one pouring in a glass, it can only reach the half level. Friendship is always a joint effort.

The friendship will overflow as more experiences that bring out other emotions are shared, strengthening the relationship some more. After a while, when one looks back to how things started, one will have a hard time distinguishing how it all began since it’s a series of little things combined with some major events that cements friendship.